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Judy's avatar

I relate so much to everything you shared. It is helpful to hear of women that I look up to also struggling with imposter syndrome. It is helpful to remember that we are not alone in that experience and that in fact, experiencing might even make what we have to say even more important. I look forward to reading more from you.

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John Soto's avatar

It’s good that you’re writing again. It’s probably a bit selfish that I enjoy it so much (or is that just usually the case when we enjoy something hmm) because much of what you are writing is similar to things I’m attempting to work through or know I need to work through.

I’m also wanting to get into some writing, but starting from a very different point from what I think I’ll end up doing. Seemingly unrelated I keep thinking I should take voice lessons, I sing well enough but am self taught and have been thinking lessons would help me a lot but never considered the throat chakra, I’m only vaguely familiar with chakras, and I didn’t consider the usefulness of voice training being connected to releasing the writing voice also.

I suppose one of the things I appreciate your writing is that it often helps shed some light on my own path and there are not many people I have encountered who do that. I’m very grateful for that.

And even if it doesn’t feel personally relevant I always sense there is deep wisdom in what you share.

There’s a few other synchronicities in what you wrote this time.

I’ll just say it strikes me you are maybe the one person I know who is in a very similar place to me even in how you still say you’re a practicing Christian but your spiritual practice is so much more expansive than what that usually entails. I can think of like 1 other person I know who might be similar to me in that regard also and I only met them cause of your online community. So I have a lot to be grateful to you for.

Looking forward to hearing more about how things go, reading more of your writing.

Oh and I really came here intending to comment on the imposter syndrome haha. Um yes, lots of thoughts about that. For now I’ll say I’ve found it interesting how certain groups think it’s only their group that feels it so intensely. Online I happen to be around a lot of software developers these days and there’s lots of talk as if it’s a tech phenomenon and I’m just thinking, no really it happens everywhere.

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Rebekah Berndt's avatar

That's so funny, the idea that imposter syndrome is a tech phenomenon. I heard someone say that it's a phenomenon for women, which I think a lot of women assume, and someone was like, no, men have it too! I assume the tech world skews male, so I never would have thought of it as a tech thing.

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John Soto's avatar

Unfortunately the tech world does currently skew male and there’s a lot of toxicity that comes with that too. There are also some males who seem to have the opposite problem, I’ve heard of guys with beginning level skills applying to very senior positions well outside their capability so there is also that going on.

But there are plenty of men who also have imposter syndrome. And women are often less likely to apply for jobs they could qualify for because they don’t feel qualified so women probably experience it more intensely. Which is a shame because, like many other areas, tech desperately needs more women in the field and more women in senior leadership.

I guess that might be part of the tricky thing with imposter syndrome, if someone is experiencing it part of it is feeling THEY are the ones that don’t belong and it can be hard to remember others feel that way too. So it’s good to talk about it I think.

I’ve just taken to saying I usually don’t know what I’m doing and I’m just winging it haha. And along with that if there’s something I want to do trying to take small steps towards gaining confidence. I think personally that has been a blockage for me before with imposter syndrome, unrealistic expectations about what I can accomplish in a short time.

Also, might take a play out of your methods and try consistently writing. I have been wanting to get into blogging to start probably just haven’t gotten into a routine of writing yet.

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Kate Fontana's avatar

Nice to hear your voice again, sis! Lots of resonance of course. It's funny to hear you naming the vagueness re: activist culture. I just gave a lecture on 'cult dynamics' in not-obviously cult locations; and realized I was speaking mostly in generalities--that I'm still processing and not quite willing/able to be specific. I love your storytelling from Christian history, and also your down-to-earth tarot teachings.

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Rebekah Berndt's avatar

It's funny, I think a lot about how fine a line there is between cult and community. And how all communities can develop cult-like aspects at times, and even the healthiest community will have disgruntled people who decide it's a cult. And even in groups that are clearly cults, you will have people who will say "yeah, it was messed-up, but it changed my life, and I'm grateful for it anyway." There were definitely people who felt that way in Wild, Wild Country, the doc about the Rajneeshis.

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EmKay Kettleson-Anderson's avatar

I do love your perspective, Rebekah! I am still curious about your psychic reaction to Stonehenge (did you write that up and did I miss it?) … but mostly I love that you are stepping out as an authority in the things God has woven in to your being. Women are told they should be the cheerleaders and the mothers of greatness, not the heroes or preachers or speakers or writers. So we do have imposters syndrome … and we also undermine each other by thinking that we cannot be taught or led or healed by each other without going back to the fan-girl posture we have struggled to get out of our own heads.

I most love hearing your intuition and experience of that whole world that is “fiction” to most people but lived experience to some of us … real encounters and knowledge of the ancestors and the saints … new ways of understanding life and death … new joy in perceiving the world we walk in.

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Rebekah Berndt's avatar

Thank you. I have not written up my reactions to Stonehenge. I think I was partly feeling exhausted at the time, and also feeling like I wasn't ready to share. I have a lot of things from that trip to still write about, and that's one thing I plan on doing. So hopefully soon!

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