13 Comments

I love this article, so glad you wrote it! I was familiar with Gottman and his basic assertion, but not exactly as you shared here, which I find very helpful as this principal can apply to so many areas of life. I am sync with what you have written in that I have never been a part of an activist group, but I did on two occasions spend 23 hours in my bathroom to raise attention and protest the use of solitary confinement in prisons, and it made me sick. My focus now is on using my voice to (joyfully) talk about what people need to be well: human connection, healthy food and sunlight. Feels so much better!! Out on a walk earlier, a thought dropped in to form a "happy activists" group. Thanks for helping me lean in to the ideas you presented here. Very helpful article with a lot of clarity.

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Thanks for writing this. You and I have had some similar experiences with dogmatic ideology, both religious and political.

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My experience resonates w so much here. Thx for saying it.

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Wow. Exactly my own experience as well, including leaving fundamentalist (or specifically, Southern Baptist) Christianity and then later noticing that my radical "comrades" were acting in exactly the same way as the rigid true believers they fear so much.

I've been putting off writing about how this changed specifically for me (though I write about it in my upcoming book), but this essay reminds me that I really ought to. Thanks for writing all this!

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My own background was non-denominational charismatic (basically Pentecostal lite), but there was a lot of neo-Calvinist influence in the evangelical waters in those days.

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I appreciate this essay. I too an an ex-Christian who left that cult because of dogmatism. It's sad to see these tendencies among certain left-wing activist groups. It only pushes people away who would otherwise support their cause(s). I am trying to tell people to cool it with the overzealous navel gazing on pronouns, letting violent criminals take advantage of "restorative justice" and other wild goose chases, and instead to focus on the basics. If that doesn't happen, the fascist followers of the Christian cult will win and everyone that is not white, rich, male, heterosexual, or is a free thinker will suffer under their yoke, because they will win power and never let it go.

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wonderful piece, really resonates!

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Fascinating post. Thanks for sharing. I have found some of the same issues with the left as a member of the LGBTQ+ community. I love your emphasis on creativity, imagining solutions rather than "fixing" problems, and curiosity/empathy for "the other." Good stuff.

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A good friend of mine left her activist-oriented LGBTQ orgs because of this.

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Thank you for this.

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If you’re trying to help you’ll need to be more specific than this

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I assume you’re replying to the guy I just banned, lol. He’s spamming all my posts with his shit about the protocols of the elders of zion

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I figured he was a problem!

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