A New Name
You might notice that Torchlight has a new look and a new name. When I first started writing this newsletter, I was really seeking to prove to myself that I could write, consistently, and articulate my ideas without dissolving into a gelatinous mess of word soup. The torches casting light were the torches of the ancient Greek goddess Hekate, who can be called upon to provide protection and light the way in shadowy, unknown regions like crossroads, borderlands, and the underworld. In many ways, I was seeking her guidance as I gathered the courage I needed to write.
But as I’ve started to lean more into my interests and my voice, Torchlight is feeling…not quite right. Torches (the flaming kind) have an association with angry mobs carrying pitchforks and Klansman, among other things, and while I’m never one to let someone co-opt a perfectly good symbol, it feels like it’s time for a change.
I’ve been praying a lot lately to Mary, Undoer of Knots, and my sense of the way she works is that she’s really good at unwinding all the energetic and karmic kinks we’ve created for ourselves. She’s a liberator of prana, chi, viriditas. It’s an undoing that is also a becoming. As I’ve pondered a new name, this concept of undoing keeps returning to me.
I’ve had a kind of personal mantra I’ve used for the last 20 years or so: Trust the unfolding. It’s a reminder that in all life’s twists, turns, I am living out a larger story, a journey of discovery with God, and that each setback is an opportunity to learn and grow and become something more. When things fall apart, be they relationships, careers, or civilizations, it may be the end of something we valued and depended on, but it may also be the beginning of something new and beautiful, if we tend to it, like a bud unfolding into bloom.
The Unfolding is my attempt to ask how can we participate with Life, with the undoing and unwinding of things, rather than reacting from a place of fear and clinging to sinking ships. What treasures might we discover as we sift through the rubble? What can be reclaimed, repurposed, replanted, or reimagined? This is the most resilient approach I have found for facing challenging circumstances in my personal life, and I think it holds up just as well as we ponder climate change, civilizational collapse, and the end of empires.
Fun new features
I’ll be seeking to answer these questions as I launch two new features. The first is a podcast, which I started recording this week. For the last 15 years I have been in circles of clergy, seminary professors, lay leaders, and spiritual thinkers pondering the future of religion, faith, and humanity. Most, but not all, are Christian, some are interspiritual, meaning they draw from more than one tradition. I’ve been privy to some extraordinary and fascinating conversations over the years, and I want to start opening them up to others. I’ll be interviewing some of my friends and acquaintances, and I hope to make some new ones along the way.
The second is something I’ve always secretly wanted to do: an advice column. Friends and acquaintances have often come to me with their problems over the years, or when they just need a good, encouraging shift in perspective. Advice columns can often be tedious refereeing (with often terrible advice), but the best columnist, people like Cheryl Strayed, Cary Tennis, and Heather Havrilesky, have turned them into thoughtful and wise meditations on living, and I’d like to at least reach for that kind of thing.
I’m calling it You Don’t Have To Be Good: A Spiritual Advice Column. Yes, it’s a reference to Mary Oliver’s Wild Geese. If you have any questions about spirituality or life in general that you’d want to ask a friend or spiritual director, email me at raberndt@gmail.com.
I’ll be alternating the podcast and advice column every other week, while continuing to write essays about history, spirituality, and culture (and yes, sometimes critiquing leftist culture).
Paid Subscriptions
My last announcement is that I’m turning on paid subscriptions for my newsletter. Everything is going to remain un-paywalled for the time being, and I’ll always have a robust free option. As I settle into a rhythm that feels sustainable for me, and figure out what is interesting and helpful to you, my readers, I will start to offer some subscriber-only perks and content.
In the meantime, if your support allows me to write and offer more! So please consider signing up for a subscription if you find this newsletter valuable. And if you’re willing to sign up at the founding level, I will have quarterly zoom calls for those members.
Thanks to all of you who have subscribed, emailed me, commented, and in many ways communicated your support. It’s been deeply encouraging and rewarding and means so much to me.